he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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