im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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