It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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