Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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