WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Randomize
