they need to just BURY HIM!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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