Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
