oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.