There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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