his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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