He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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