I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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