Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
