try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize