Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Yo dont text me then not text me
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
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