Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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