Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
