cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
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