did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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