Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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