How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
This girl is more easily done than said...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
