There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
