He is like the real live version of the state fair..
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
