My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
