Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
