In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
