If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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