i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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