marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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