How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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