He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
