I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
