I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
