so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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