Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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