it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
