Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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