I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
