I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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