im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
