I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
