Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
