Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
