Kiss
Puke
He had one of those small greek statue penises
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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