she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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