There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
it's like iHOP with fire
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
