Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
