once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
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I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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