Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize