Fine. I'll sleep in my office
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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