You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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