My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
