i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize