i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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