So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
dude. I can hear the air.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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