My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
