This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
