Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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