no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
