Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
