Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
