One girl and one boy is just not enough.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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