so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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